TO THOSE WE LOVE

As I prepare to preach on the morrow there is a vortex of emotion swirling within. Those emotions range from apathy to sadness to anxious anticipation. The temptation toward apathy comes from fighting for years to proclaim God’s word to only see the labor of my heart vanish like a zephyr of smoke. I know this is not true, but it is how it feels. The sadness comes from realizing that this next sermon will not be delivered in the context of a congregation that I dearly love and from whom I have felt dear love. I so do miss our congregation. I miss it like one that longs for the sacred; a longing to be in the midst of the cloud of His presence enjoying the communion of the saints with their God and experiencing the fellowship of their love. The anxious anticipation comes from a great desire to proclaim the truth of God through His Word. To walk with Jesus again along the shores of the sea, to watch Him speak, to see hearts changed, to be overwhelmed by fear and then to have that fear transformed into shear delight. This is what preaching is for me. It is to know and proclaim the worth of the kingdom, but in an existential way. It is a desire to stand at the threshold of His glory and see the beauty of His presence transported by His Spirit through earthen vessels. The artist paints, the musician plays, the singer expresses their soul through melodies that echo through the hearts of men. So how do I express my heart? I long to roar like the lion, not with empty vibrato, but with soul emptying expressions, to this end, not for the praise of men, but to know and feel the pleasure of the God whom I desire to praise. Maybe these are the musings of a childish heart, but they are the thoughts of one who is a son of the Lion of Judah. I pray that God may use them and me to glorify Himself. Lord help me I pray, will You stand with me on the morrow.