NOT A LITTLE BOY ANYMORE

Can you make a guess which one is Caleb...in the 1st picture below? Let me know what you think

God is so kind

It is hard to describe the events of today that will adequately convey the meaning that is branded in my heart. Of course it is a day full of mixed emotions.Sorrow and loneliness as I reflect back on one year ago and where we were and what we were feeling and how I am feeling now,Sadness at the loss of face to face fellowship with those that are so dear and at the same time joy at how God has so clearly guided us this past year.I did well until getting in the car and when you have been married as long as we have you don't have to use words to convey thoughts and feelings to each other .It is a glance, a hand that is squeezed tightly, a wink of the eye that says it all.While on the way to church I started to feel overcome when on the radio we heard a song we had never heard before and Robert just had to say "see?". The song was by the David crowder band called "Never Let Go" it has only a few lyrics and we usually don't care for the songs with just a few lyrics but they were the exact thing I needed to hear on the way this morning and I will never forget that moment as God's Spirit ministered strength to my breaking heart.
If that was all that happened this morning it would have been a special day but then when we sat down for the morning worship service God did another amazing thing. I could not hold back the tears from flowing down my cheeks again a mixture of feelings and then it was because God was so kind to us this morning. Our Pastor Tom Shreiner got up to preach and I was overwhelmed with thankfulness to God for bringing us to this church and having the opportunity to hear from God's word each week from someone that we have gotten to know a little bit and see such Pastoral love and care as He shepherds us. Anyway, Pastor Tom preached from the last couple of chapters of 1Samuel and it could not have been anymore timely. He talked about Davids frustration with not being able to fulfill his plans and not understanding why even though he was trying to do a good thing it was not the way God was going to work out His will. He related it to our lives when we try so hard to see things through and work so hard and then God does not allow us to see it through to the end of our plans but He will see it through to his will.I can not do this message justice and if I can get a copy of it I will post it here. The tears continued to flow down my cheeks during the entire message because God was so kind to let us hear such a perfect message for our needs this day. I don't intend to give the impression that I believe that it was just for us for I am sure many can relate to such situations but for us today we felt overwhelmed by God's goodness and rejoiced in hearing from His word.We ended the service by singing a very familiar songs to all of from Christ Fellowship called "Jesus Thank You" Robert didn't open his eyes during the entire song for I know he was listening for your voices and thanking God for His goodness to all of us.I would love to hear from you all about how God ministered to you this day.

Becky

"NEVER LET GO"

A WORD FROM ROBERT

“…as sorrowful yet always rejoicing, as poor yet making many rich, as having nothing yet possessing all things.” 2 Corinthians 6:10

To those whom I long to see,

It is hard to believe that a year has come and gone since I stood before you on that fateful day and proclaimed to you the hope that we have in God. I doubt seriously whether that day will ever perish from my memory. I was so afraid and yet so hopeful. I was afraid because of the unknown, yet hopeful because of our God. I well remember Mike bringing in that wonderful, huge, vase full of flowers. It was so full of life though I felt so dead. It was a moment in which I was dying and at the same time hoping to live. It was a sermon that I so wanted to preach with all of my being and yet at the same time one that I wish I would never have ever prepared. I will always remember our gathering on the beach. I remember that none of us wanted to leave, but the sun was setting and night was approaching. It was time to go. How could a heart be so full and so empty at the same time?
A year has come and gone. So much has happened, not just in our lives but in yours as well. I am so very proud of you all. Christ has enabled you to walk through the difficulties of this past year as well as to see great accomplishments. You have all found new churches where you are not just attending but ministering as well. That is a great joy in our hearts. You show the work of Christ wrought in your hearts and exhibited through your lives. Your continued fellowship with one another is an expression of the genuine love of God produced by the Spirit’s presence.
I will always carry you in my heart. The memories of the last few years together sustain my soul. Yes, those were years of struggle and uncertainty, but that is not what I remember. I remember a congregation growing up into a mature body that loved to see Sunday come. My memories are of worshipping our God together as one being. If I close my eyes and block out the surrounding noise I can still hear you singing. I can hear you reading the scripture, I can hear your prayers, I can hear your praises to our great God. When I still myself I can sense your joy when we found a new song that expressed our hearts to God or we sang an old hymn that brought comfort and courage to our weary souls. When I think back on those days it seems as if just when it all came together, and we learned to worship God in Spirit and Truth, the wind blew and like a zephyr of smoke it was gone. Some things are just inexplicable, but we trust in the wisdom of God and not the desires of our hearts.
It is a strange existence that we have. We are at the same time thankful for what God has done and yet disheartened that He did not keep us together. We are fearful of what the future holds because of uncertainty and yet greatly anticipating what God is preparing for us to do. It has been a year and yet it seems like it was only yesterday.
I cannot express to you how I long for one more worship service together. To experience one more song, one more prayer, one more passage of scripture read. I long to stand before you and declare the Word of God just one more time. To unpack the children’s material, to set up the sound system, to unfold the pulpit, just one more time. These are indeed difficult thoughts, but not ones that should lead us to despair.
I am reminded of something that I once read by C.S. Lewis that I believe will help us through such thoughts. It is from his space trilogy. Specifically it comes from a conversation that takes place between a fictional creature from Lewis’s vivid imagination and a human. The specific thought is that the memory of an event is part of the event. It is the completion of the event, its culmination. I remember initially reading it and not quite understanding its significance. But I now believe I understand some of what he wrote.
Memories are not designed to take us from the present to the past but rather to bring the past into the present. Memory serves to transport the reality of the past into the present so that what once was can now be experienced and enjoyed again in the present. My point is that I can have one more song, one more prayer, one more sermon, if I will just remember what God has done. To long for another moment is in some measure to deny the sufficiency of the past. Certainly memories can grow into legends and some even pass from legends into myths. But one thing is certain in my mind and that is that God was with us and I will forever call upon that memory to carry me through the present lonely paths that lead to that place where we will all gather again. Where we will forever sing, and praise and enjoy one another forever in the presence of our Lord who unites us forever by His Spirit.
As the sun rose a year ago, so shall it rise again in a few days. The rising of that anniversary sun will be announced by a building chorus of praise to our God that will begin in the east and move across the sky until it rests above us at the appointed time. When that time arrives I will ask you to join me in singing another song, offering another praise, hearing another sermon about and to our great God. If you will listen you will hear my voice join in with yours and I assure you that I will be listening for yours. In that moment let our hearts grow in thankfulness for what God has done for us. Let faith swell up in your soul, full of anticipation at seeing the glory of God that he intends to demonstrate through the work that he began in us and will complete. Even if we cannot see it in full measure until we all join together and look back at the wonder of His wisdom.

With deepest love and warm affection and longing of heart.

Robert




I just wanted to add that I just love ya'll so very much! My heart has been heavy with love and bursting with memories especially in these last couple of weeks.I too shall never forget the beautiful day last April 29th as we gathered on the beach after morning worship to have one last meal together and the love I had that each of you gathered to share in Joshua's baptism. I am so glad that he got to experience that with you all since you knew him since birth and played a part in loving him and seeing him come to Christ.I am so moved by the music of Christ Fellowship Church and how when I hear those songs in our current church it brings me back to those times spent together singing whether in a hotel ,school,home,college auditorium or gathered together in knee deep water at one of our baptisms.The song link I included here is the last song we sang together and the line about "He gives and Takes Away" has actually brought me great comfort as I reflect on the circumstances of our ending and how we all saw through the tears that it was God that was taking away and we could rest in that knowledge and continue to say..."Blessed be the Name of the Lord"...
I am including a link to Robert's last message to us as a congregation as that has been something that I have returned to several times this year to hear from Gods word about the greatness of his Sovereignty even in the most painful times in our lives.It has been such a source of strength for me and I hope you will find it encouraging again as well.
Becky

OUR LAST MESSAGE TOGETHER




OUR LAST SONG

I needed a good laugh!

You know this has to be posted by Becky since Robert does not have time these busy studying days for such trivial postings LOL I dare you to watch these and not laugh untill you cry

I read the following article by John Piper this morning on Desiring God. This is not the whole article but it struck me as I have been thinking about such things. In light of the "great" work of things like "American Idol gives back" in which millions of dollars are raised to help the worlds most needy people, I have been wondering about how best to give to the needs of others and this instruction of giving in Jesus' name keeps coming to my mind. I have a lot of excess items from the coupon shopping that I am praying about how to distribute. I really want to be able to,unrestricted, go and give to the needs of the children in my own community and do it in Jesus' name and not the name of the state or even a good organization like feed the children.I just really want to find a way to do it so that the children's needs are met and God gets the Glory for it.I thought this was an interesting short clip of the whole article that I would recommend anyone to go read on the Desiring God web site




Two Utterly Crucial Elements to Caring for Children

Two things are utterly crucial in caring for children. One: is it done in Jesus' name? "Whoever receives one such child in my name . . . " Ministering to children in any way but in the name of Jesus, does not fulfill the will of Jesus. And the second crucial thing in caring for children is that we do it with a longing to experience more of Jesus and more of the One who sent him, God the Father. "Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me and whoever receives me receives not me but the One who sent me."

Why does he say this? Why does he bring everything to a focus on God and the value of receiving more of God? Do you ever want to say to Jesus, "Lighten up! Does everything always have to be theological?" The answer is yes, it does. For Jesus everything has to do with God, or it is fundamentally distorted.

How to Serve Children Best and Why

And if someone asks, What about the children? Aren't you supposed to serve the children because of the children? Surely the answer of Jesus here is this: you serve a child best when you receive a child and care for a child and spend time with a child and hold a child NOT in the name of the child, or in the name of mankind or in the name of mercy or in the name of America's future, but in the name of Jesus, the Son of the living God. And you serve children best when you receive a child not merely because your joy is first in the child, but first and finally in God.

Why is this the best way to serve? Because the most important blessing you can give to a child is the all-satisfying centrality of God in life. And, believe me, this is caught more than taught. And that's why you must serve them in this way; you would lead them in this way.

Awesome Interview

many of you have been praying for Caleb's high school football coach Ryan Keith that was recently diagnosed with ALS aka Lou Gerrigs disease. Caleb told us about an awesome video interview that occurred at the chapel service at the school and I have included a link to that video that I would encourage you to watch.Please continue to pray for this young man that God would be Glorified in his life.Keep in mind this interview took place just 2 weeks after his diagnoses.
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http://evajax.com/Video/Keith_Interview.wmv

Can't Get Any Better Than This!

There is little else that gives me as much joy as a bouquet of dandelions brought to me in the hands of one of my children. I had the enormous privilege this morning to get two bouquets from the best 2 little boys in the world. God is good and spring is beautiful!
Becky

GREAT NEWS AND NEED

The great news is that Caleb graduates from the Air Force Academy Prep School in less than 5 weeks. We are so proud of him for making it through this very difficult year.We are going to make the 19 hour drive straight through to Colorado in about 4&1/2 weeks from now. After he graduates on Tuesday he will be flying to Jacksonville to start a summer job there.The need is for him to have a car to get back and forth to this job. He has a couple of options one is to rent a car but that will cost 1000 plus about 1000 in insurance for just 6 weeks. The other option is for him to get his own insurance and buy a car for about 500 that will last him until the end of the 6 weeks.He can not have a car at the Air Force academy for a couple of years yet so a permanent purchase is unnecessary. If anyone that reads this in Jacksonville knows of a VERY used car that he could purchase please let us know as soon as possible.This job is at an Athletic Training facility called Titus where he will be running some summer camps and have the privilege of working out 3 hours a day himself for free.This is such a great opportunity that I would hate it if it did not work out for him.Thanks!
Becky

We must not miss opportunities to express our love to one another

AS I got my mother dressed to go to the Dr's office today she stopped and grabbed my hands and could hardly get the words out that she appreciated me so much for what I do for her and she ended up getting so choked up she had another episode of reflux but regained her composure quickly. I was struck in that moment of how when we were there in that moment we both understood how short time could be for us on this earth.I am not at all implying that she is dying but we all are dying and we need to make sure we say the things that are necessary to express before it is too late to express them on this earth.She expressed to me that she felt like a worthless toad unable to due much that she considered useful.To all that know her they know how many useful things she actually does.I reminded her that she has the privilege of entering into Christs sufferings unlike most of us then she proceeded to tell me that she is not suffering which is so predictable of her to say.If I could not walk ,talk clearly,eat for 13 years,sew,crochet,knit,get in the shower myself,dress myself, have multiple surgeries to keep my eyes open,be unable to turn my eyeballs,unable to close my eyes completely, drive anymore,sing,talk on the phone,call for help,take a walk in the woods,or if I had been brought back to life 3 times or if I had to be on a ventilator and then suffer with the constant problems that a trache involves for 2 whole years or if everyone I met stared at me or talked to everyone else but me, or thought I was retarded or thought I was unhappy because my face doesn't work and no can see the smile that is there on the inside, or be accused of being drunk years ago because of an unsteady gate.I think I would call that suffering.She is amazing the way that God has enabled her to see past all of these things and not consider it suffering.That is a testimony of Gods goodness that I will take into the future.I have never heard her say why me or please heal me she has accepted this as Gods providential work and that He purposed it to be this way.I am sure she has prayed for healing but has accepted Gods answer.May we learn from the legacy of such people like Lynn Lapp and Joni Erickson. Don't get me wrong my mother is looking forward to getting rid of the wheelchair and to eating a very big Thanksgiving dinner as soon as she is in the presence of the one that enables us to live with and in suffering.Healing will come to her as she says when she is dancing in heaven with pretty shoes LOL. She has had to wear ugly braces and shoes so long all you ladies will understand that hope.Please continue to pray for her and all of us.The following is one of my moms favorites and truly can only be fully understood by those that have entered His sufferings.
Becky

Encouraged my heart

As I see my mother suffering so much, I ran to hear some of Roberts messages that in the past have so pointed me to embrace suffering... of course we don't ask for it if we are smart LOL.He preached a whole series on suffering and the one I listened to this morning really is not about the same suffering that my mom is experiencing but it clearly encourages me to be strong and ready myself for suffering the hardship that is to come.


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Please Pray

My mother goes to Clifton and she and my dad are in the process of joining. She is in a wheelchair and they sit in the back of the church when ever she is well enough to come.She has a rare form of muscular dystrophy called Ocular-Pharyngeal dystrophy.This disease first shows up in the muscles of the face and spreads to the limbs.It is very slow progressing and the disease itself should not shorten her life but complications can.She has suffered greatly in recent years from the complications.She can no longer walk and is bound to the wheelchair.She has had a feeding tube for the last 13 years and in that time has received all of her nutrition via the tube as her swallowing muscles have been affected. She has had numerous hospitalizations including a trache that was recently removed. Her biggest problem is that the sphincter muscle in her esophagus that closes when we cough or strain or bend over has deteriorated to where it does not work at all and she has constant possibility of having reflux of her stomach contents that she ends up aspirating on due to the fact the other sphincter muscle that closes off the esophagus to the lungs also has deteriorated so that when anything comes up towards the mouth it first goes into the lungs.She had an episode of this happening last Friday and has not recovered well from it.She is very weak and is going to the lung specialist tomorrow.Please pray for compassion and wisdom for the doctors.Please pray for Gods plan to be clear. Please pray for peace for all of us as we go around an unknown corner.My mother is the strongest person I have ever known.She has been a constant example of Gods strength being shown in our weakness.She is a very giving intelligent,kind,thoughtful woman that is ready to meet Jesus.If you see her in church don’t mistake her frown for sadness.The muscles cannot reveal the joy that Jesus has put in her heart.Don’t mistake her quiet voice for shunning for if she could she would tell you of all the wonderful ways God has reveled Himself to her through her suffering but she would never call it suffering.My father has been a perfect example of unconditional love.They celebrated 50 years of marriage this year and he shows his love for her everyday as he gently and carefully cares for her.Sorry to have gone on so long I just wanted my church family to know something about my mother.